“A Tarnished Ring on a Tarnished Chain” – Veronica #3

sad I looked down at that 718 # and saw Miguel’s name. The hell does he want, didn’t we just say bye?

The text read: “Veronica, I had a great time tonight. Do you want to get together this weekend? I wanna cook for you.” after minutes of deep thought I replied “uh, yea ok. As long as you don’t poison me.” Miguel replied “Haha! Well I’ll call you later next week to discuss details.”

Ok so I’m sitting there thinking that either he’s too friendly, he’s tryna get some booty, or he’s bored as hell. I’ll probably change my mind in a few days. Going to bed while I still got a lil taste of this buzz.

I spent the next day shopping at Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Arden B. I also treated myself to a pedicure and a frozen pina colada from a nearby bar. On the way back from Soho my thoughts wandered to that facebook message from the previous night. I thought about my ex who lives with his girlfriend and their one-year-old son. Why is he trying to contact me and what the hell does he want?

Here’s a question: Why is it so hard to get over your first love? He was my first everything and we were head over heels in love in high school. He broke up with me a week before I left for Duke because he was going to UF and feared the distance would be too much. We never lost contact even though we havent been together in almost seven years.  I swear Marques and I are on some straight Kim and Diddy type shyt.  No matter who we’re with, we still think about each other incessantly. Marques told me that whenever he hears “Best I Ever Had” by Drake, that he immediately thinks of me. I’ve let him go and moved on, but I still care about him and genuinely hope that he’s okay.

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Unfortunately I never met a man who made me high off of love again, a man who loved me in every way possible. I still wear that platinum and diamond encrusted cross that he bought me. I haven’t taken it off since he placed it around my neck over 5 years ago. On that chain is also a small thin wedding band that was my promise ring, that we’d always find our way back to each other no matter the distance. I smiled and put my finger through the ring around my neck, enjoying those bittersweet memories that we shared.

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I found myself closing my eyes and remembering all that slow, passionate, deep-thrusting love making that me and Marques used to do. Last time I saw him I went to Orlando for a weekend and went home with a suitcase full of clean clothes! Damn! Marques’ body was on top of me, running his fingers through my hair, placing moist kisses all over my body, and giving me the rod of life. I saw the ecstacy in my face and started squirming on that F train as if I was alone in my room and no one was watching. I then saw Miguels’ face. Damn!  My ass woke the fuck up! Is somebody trying to tell me something?

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~ by A. Nicole on October 1, 2009.

2 Responses to ““A Tarnished Ring on a Tarnished Chain” – Veronica #3”

  1. Lmao @ the “rod of life”

  2. I’ve been in a similar situation for the last 3 yrs. After this past weekend I believe me and my ex are on some Melanie Derwin ish too. I’m in Cleveland, he’s in Charlotte/D.C. and no matter what we still find a way back to each other. Dude was even married for 6 mos., and he still says he has deep feelings for me. Why is it so hard to let go? Afterwhile I just stopped fighting it and let the feelings flow. God would have completely removed him from my life if it wasn’t meant to be.

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