“Where Do We Go From Here?” Veronica #6

Miguel woke shortly after I did to notice the snowstorm that was outside awaiting us. It wasn’t snowing at the time, but I still wanted to head back to the house to do some laundry before it got too bad. He kissed me on the cheek and promised to call after he got back from the gym. I felt a tingle the entire ride back to my side of Queens, and I couldn’t control it. I felt something jerk between my legs and it scared the hell out of me. Just thinking about him on top of me gave me a mini orgasm! My eyes closed shut and I opened them in just enough time to stay on the road. I slid on a patch of ice as a strong sensation jolted through my thighs! OMG what has he done to me?!?!

Once I pulled up in the garage at home I took a few minutes to get myself together. I knew Miguel’s mom would be asking me where I spent the night. What would I say, at your son’s house getting my back blown the fuck out? No, I was with my linesister who stayed in the same neighborhood. Good.

Fastforward to the following week. At this point we were together every weekend, and sometimes meeting at a bar for a drink or two during happy hour. I didn’t think of us as a couple even though he took up a ton of my time.. but I just liked the way he made me feel. I was always comfortable and I never found myself bored. It had been years since I’d had a man who actually made me feel like a woman. Miguel catered to me, and of course that was reciprocated. It was nice to have someone genuinely care about how your day went, or to have someone tell a joke when you’re feeling a little down. We did those things for each other, but I never put thought to any of this until after the fact. beyonce%7E0 All of my friends tried to convince me to pursue this man, but he’d insisted on reminding me that he was not looking for a commitment. I continued to ask him why he kept talking about committing when I told him that I didn’t want one either. I assumed he was used to the pressure from other females. He soon began to see how different I was from other women in that I never asked for anything from him, especially for a definition on our relationship. Perhaps that was why he decided to do something special for me. 22850883This particular night, Miguel presented me with a gift in a huge Macy’s box. Christmas was in a week and I was going home to Jersey for eight days. Inside the box was a bottle of Christian Dior J’Adore and the matching gift set in a Dior Tote bag. I smiled a weak smile because I didn’t know what to think. We were just friends, nobody said we were exchanging gifts. The hell? I hugged him anyway. He sat next to me on the couch and we started talking about family. I asked him if he wanted kids and he said “of course! I see myself having two little girls. Two little girls with thick curly hair and chinky eyes.” Miguel moved the box from my lap, placed it on the floor, and proceeded to grab my legs and put them in his lap. As he massaged my calves he started talking again. This time the conversation went left. “Yea V, I see 2 little girls with a big smile just like their mother. And I can imagine the smallest one saying to me “daddy why is mommy so crazy?” and then I’ll look over at you and say “your mom is crazy because she’s Korean and Puerto Rican! Hahaha!”aoki

WTF he just say? I’ll look over at you? Ok he must have slipped himself a mickey. How the fuck he gon talk about us being married with kids and he too scared to even open up and tell me why his ex left his ass? This is too much. I stared at Miguel with this retarded blank stare that I give dumb people because I didn’t know what else to do. 1459644832_b411598f99was this dude falling for me? why else would a man talk about havin kids with a woman? He didn’t have to sell me a pipe dream, all I wanted was the pipe! We have a good thing, why mess it up with talks of kids? Eww! My phone rang and it knocked me out of my zone. You already know who it was, RJ. Sending me picture mail…he could be so sweet sometimes. RJ had been out of sight and out of mind for the past month and a half. He was dating other people and he knew that I didn’t have to be alone on a Friday night unless I wanted to. We checked in with each other, but it became less frequent over time.

“V!” I snapped out of my trance when Miguel called my name. He continued, “I just wanted to do something nice for you, that’s all. You’ve been a good friend to me.” I thanked him with a hug and a kiss on a cheek, which ended up leading to other things. The sexual chemistry that we shared was insane. We craved each other when we were apart, often sending text messages about what we couldn’t wait to do to each other. Sex with Miguel was just so passionate…he sexed my body in so many different ways I’d lost count of how many times he made me scream his name. As he explored my body with his tongue, my mind began to wander. I wondered what was going through his mind as he thought about having a family with me and what he was thinking as he made love to my body and my soul. It was scary because he wasn’t just a friend anymore. There was power and strength, yet something soft and familiar in his kisses. Everytime he touched me I felt a slight shiver down my spine. I failed to understand the sudden sexual attraction we had for each other, but I continued to deny the emotional connection we had. I knew that a friendship like this would result in heartache for someone, but at the same time I wasn’t ready to pull away. I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat..wondering if I should take control and walk away….

~ by A. Nicole on October 27, 2009.

7 Responses to ““Where Do We Go From Here?” Veronica #6”

  1. Sad sad sad. Everything is perfect, yet he doesn’t want a commitment. Makes absolutely no sense. Welcome to my world boo. Side note: LOL at that damn cat pic!!!

  2. I have a question, why did it bother you that he brought up the subject of children? What was it that you were fighting with/for? Control over your feelings? Or control over the situation? It seems to me that you guys had excellent chemistry….. What was it that you were trying to control? Inquiring minds want to know lol

  3. It bothered me because this man uses every available opportunity to remind me that he’s single and does not want to commit. Yet he treats me and caters to me like a man who’s trying to court me. Every 5 minutes he’s calling me baby and mami, and the next minute “yea that’s why I’m single, women be on that bullshyt.” Which one is it, sir?

    You can’t tell a woman that you see yourself having kids with her, and then the next minute you’re talking about how you don’t want a relationship. Which one is it?

    Confused mufuckas boy……..

  4. And they call women confused?!?! Some guys are just as lost in the damn sauce! Either you want me exclusively or you don’t. Once emotions are invested then it becomes an issue…now it isn’t as easy to remove yourself from the situation because your heart is overriding what your head is trying to tell you so you stay because you HOPE. Then he’s buying gifts, spending time, dreaming of kids, and hittin’ THEE spot right? Confusion much? He’s sending mixed damn messages. Women aren’t built to just hit it, quit it and forget it but damn sometimes I wish we were!

  5. i was forcing myself to ignore his actions and focus on his words. even before the sex he was calling me pet names, and remember the first time we did it, he told me how much he’d been wanting me. not sure which of his actions were planned, and which ones were spontaneous. you dont just buy expensive perfume for a FRIEND either! he didnt have to buy me a gift….orgasms is the best gift a man could ever give a woman!

  6. I think he wants all the benefits of a commitment without all the labels…maybe he’s scared..that time you become “together” things will change u will change you know how us women do!

    • true…..but i never asked to “be together” either.and that was part of it, him wanting the benefits with no set commitment….remember he’s a scorned man, thats the other part!

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