Monae~Crush On You…


C is for your confidence; boy I like the cool in you.

R is for the rumors they make; I wish that they were true.

U you put a smile on my face; you’re unforgettable.

S is for your sexiness.

H I gotta have ya!

I got a crush…on YOU.~Ciara

Have you ever ignored what was clearly right in front of your face? You aren’t recognizing it as something important until some force of nature jolts you into realizing that it actually is and has been sitting up under your nose all this time. Call me what you want…but the stubborn side of me is VICIOUS. The right man could be carrying a neon sign with “THE ONE” flashing brightly and I’d still be on some *side eye* ish. I’m an instant gratification realist type of chick…sad to say because ALL THINGS worth having are worth working hard for. Maybe I’m just spoiled??? But why! Anywho…

Khoury became a fixture in my life while I was in undergrad.  I usualy paid him no mind but even if I tried to express some type of interest, it would’ve had to be under wraps. He was close friends with my overprotective cousin Rod. He felt the need to label me off limits to all of his homeboys. PUHLEASE! I’m a grown woman. I could handle this! Nevertheless, Khoury just wasn’t doing it for me. He was a caramel brown with braids….(when they were cool to have). He used to always flirt with me and I would *side eye* the hell out of him as if to say, “Negro PLEASE”. He’d always respond, “One day Monae…you’re going to give me that chance.” Sure Khoury, whatever YOU say. I just never pictured ‘US’ happening. You know I’m eatin’ the hell out of my words right now? Tabasco sauce please!

Fast forward to 2009…..I was running some errands one day and stopped to get some gas. Now mind you that getting gas in Miami is a prime place for getting approached by some fool. They either want to offer to pump your gas or palm your ass….but that’s a whole different story for another day. So I get out my car, mean mug on. I was not in the mood to be bothered. The sun was blazing like any usual weekend of summer and that’s aggravation in itself. I swipe my card at the pump and proceed to fill my tank when I feel the presence of someone behind me. I rolled my eyes, iced up the cold shoulder and ignored what I knew was coming. Then I heard the voice say, “Damn Monae….I know you saw me watching you!” I squinted my face up and flipped around….when you add my government name in the mix, things change! What I saw was a pleasant sight to my eyes. “Khoury!?” I exclaimed. “Yeah, it’s me. Wow…you lookin’ good. It’s been awhile.” he responded. I so wanted to hug him…his looks had changed. Gone were the braids and they were replaced with long neat dreads….{weakness}} ooo  oooooo….I felt like running my hands through them. He’d filled out just a bit but his body was still nice. His cologne was faint but I could tell it was Lacoste Red..a panty dropper for me! All of my senses were being indulged right now! I tilted my head and smiled shyly at him. “How have you been?! Damn I never thought I’d run into you of all people!” I stated. “Monae you act like that’s a bad thing..come on man. You should know how good this makes me feel right now.” Ooooo and why when he said that, my brain immediately flashed to some freaky shit….I had to shake it off. Damn has it been that long for me?! I was brought back to the present by the sound of the pump clicking to let me know that my tank was full. I couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. WHY was I thinkin’ about sexin’ with Khoury!?! No, no, no. That wasn’t right!

“I tell you what…give me your number.  I want you to come over and let me cook for you one day. Big cuz isn’t around to make your decisions for you anymore.” he said. I immediately began to laugh. I’m glad he broke the tension that I was most likely the only one experiencing. “Whatever Khoury! He never ran my life.” “Sure Mo! If you say so.” We continued to laugh as we exchanged numbers and he turned to walk away but then gently grabbed my arm and said, “I’m glad I ran into you today. I’ve always had a crush on you and I used to wonder what could be…” and he winked at me as he headed to his car. I got into my car with the cheesiest ass grin. Then I stopped myself. Wait a minute! This is Khoury….but as I watched him I began to think mmmhmmmm this…is…Khoury. Things have surely changed. On my ride back home I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I thought of all the times I’d turn him down or wouldn’t give him any play.  From what I’ve known and seen for myself, he didn’t present himself to be the type that was “out there”. If he was, he sure did keep his shit hidden! “Quit the negative thinking, Monae” I said to myself. “No expectations. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment.”

Once I pulled into the driveway of the house, my Blackberry alert sounded notifying me of a text message. Since I didn’t feel like digging through my purse for it, I decided to check once I got inside. I figured it was one of the girls inquiring about plans for the night. I headed upstairs to get my pomeranian Apollo so I could walk him before he got restless. I ran into an older neighbor who reminded me so much of a crazy aunt of mine and we ended up walking our dogs together and conversing about everything under the sun. She is so intent on marrying me off to her ol’ trife ass nephew. She doesn’t think he’s trife, bless her heart but this dude has no job, no ambition and a kid whom he doesn’t claim. He lies to her but I see right through his ass! I always promise to let her set a date for us to meet and then avoid her when the time comes…smh but LOL. I’d totally forgotten about checking my Blackberry until I got back to the house. How the hell I managed that when it stays glued to my hand! I had some missed calls, a text alert from my bank and a voicemail. I called the voicemail and put it on speaker so I could feed Apollo. I have to multitask with his frisky ass. “New Message: Mo….it’s Khoury. I know it’s last minute and I don’t want you to think I’m being extra but…I was wondering if I could see you tonight. We could meet up or you could come over….you know I’ve been wantin’ to cook for you *laughs* Get at me…” Now tell me why I was standing there frozen….Apollo was jumpin’ his li’l ass off trying to reach the bag of dog food. I nervously began giggling. Damn……what’s wrong with me?!

Wow…things really HAVE changed! I picked up my Blackberry and pondered…..hmmm. What’s a girl to do? Do I call him back or just brush it off?



~ by Monae on October 29, 2009.

2 Responses to “Monae~Crush On You…”

  1. I miss those giggly moments, feelin like a little schoolgirl! Its been a loooooong time. Hey Apollo 🙂

  2. Is he going to be the one…isn’t how it happens tho..u meet someone later on after high school that you weren’t really interested in before..and you see them later on, and u’re like WHOA! Yesterday’s crushes are tomorrows hookups!

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