“Twisted” – Veronica #7

3521020044_7463399e83After 3 months of searching, I finally found my one bedroom apartment in the village on Perry Street. I called Miguel as soon as I put in my deposit and he suggested that we celebrate. We met at one of our favorite Thai restaurants in Park Slope on 7th Ave. We sat across from each other, maintaining eye contact the entire time. I hadn’t seen him since a few days before Valentine’s Day.
It was understood that we wouldn’t be together since we
1) weren’t a couple
2) he hated V-Day with a passion and spoke about it any chance he could.
Interestingly, he asked about how I spent my day as we shared calamari and dumpling appetizers. “V, you had a date with a guy?” I gave Miguel this intense “how dare you” look. I never asked about those birds that he spends time with when he’s not with me. What gives him the right to ask me anything? Maintaining that icy stare, I replied “I went out with a friend.” I actually went out with my linesister, but who I spent my time with was none of his business. I let him think there was another man taking me out. He made the best decision at that point, which was to change the subject. We spent the rest of the time giggling and stuffing our faces as usual. ashanti-and-nellyHe always ended up eating more of my food because he said that my food always tastes better than his. Somehow he started talking about how beautiful my body is, raising the temperature of the room. The energy between us was intense, as we ended up staying until they kicked us out. We walked out of the restaurant, arm in arm. Once I realized what was happening, I pulled away.
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You know anytime you say to a man “we need to talk,” they automatically assume that you want to DEFINE things. couple-fighting-mdThat was not the case, I didn’t need any definition. I just wanted an understanding and I needed to know that we were on the same page as far as our relationship. Yes he said he didn’t want a commitment, but he also said that he would be open if the right one came along. Over the next couple of months I went with the flow. I figured that was the best even if I was confused as hell, and I began contemplating a way to end our friendship and still be polite at family functions. The confused part of me could not deny the budding emotions that had come over me. I was always happy to hear his voice or to be in his company. I honestly hadn’t been that happy in years…I was just afraid that one day it would all be over and I would be left hurting somewhere. And lonely.

On Saturday I headed to his crib in the freezing rain, wrapped up in an oversized Duke hoodie with jeans and Ugg boots, hair in a ponytail. We ran over to a local Tex-mex restaurant for nachos and chicken burritos because we planned on staying in. As we got comfortable under a blanket, he began to play with my hair. He pulled my ponytail and began to kiss me very intensely. Times like this I felt like I should pull away, but I never did. Eventually I punched him in the shoulder so he’d stop. His phone rang and he went in the kitchen to answer it. Weird, because he never answers the phone when we’re together unless it’s his parents or siblings. I could hear him say “I told you I was going to be busy today, why are you upset?” I figured it was one of his little basic birds. And on cue, RJ began to text me. I was pretty engulfed in text boning with RJ and I didn’t even realize that Miguel was standing over me. He had this aggravated look on his face. “Man, that’s why I like being single. That was the older woman that I’ve been seeing for a while. She knows you’re over here and she’s jealous. She knows all about you but she wants to have me to herself even though she knows I don’t want to commit.” I thought to myself, well if you wasn’t laying so much pipe, maybe Tameka Foster wouldn’t be acting all territorial and jealous.usher_tameka So I made eye contact to ask him why he was telling me all of this unnecessary information. I never cared about what he does when he isn’t with me and I wasn’t about to start caring today. He didn’t answer my question, he only pulled me to my feet from the couch and took off my clothes. See, this shit right here….

As I got up to search for my missing panties, he told me about his dad’s birthday that was coming up. He asked if I was going to be free next Sunday, and I said that I didn’t have plans. He said that the dinner reservations would be for himself, his dad and stepmom, brothers, sister, and me. I was puzzled, wondering why he would invite ME to a private family outing. Yes I already knew his family but why is he bringing me as his date? I tried to play it off like I wasn’t nervous, but I was. Is this his way of letting me know that I’m #1? Why would a man bring a woman to such an intimate family setting if she didn’t mean something, especially around his parents? He said that he would call me later on in the week to discuss details. I got up to take a shower to get away from him for a minute.
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Confused again. I knew that I had feelings, I just wasn’t ready to acknowledge them. RJ wasn’t completely out of the picture but RJ doesn’t live in NYC either. After my long shower I changed into a tank top and cheerleading shorts with thick tube socks. We laid on his bed, watching another crazy movie. I laid on my back, and he laid his head on my stomach and cradled my thighs. Now this is that shit I’m talking about…..is this the kind of affection you express to a FRIEND?

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~ by A. Nicole on November 3, 2009.

4 Responses to ““Twisted” – Veronica #7”

  1. Once the line of friendship and sexual partner is crossed how do you get back to just friends…and do you even want to when the sex is so good?

    • Truthfully, the one thing about our relationship is that it was not built solely on sex. I didn’t mention it, but we didn’t have sex EVERY time we were together. We did the majority of the time. If we went back to the early stages of our relationship where we were just COOL, then I would’ve been perfectly fine with that. Yes Miguel invented sex but at the same time that’s not what made me want to be in his space all the time.

  2. I feel like he’s playing games. What was the need for him telling you that his old piece knew you were there and was jealous about it? I guess he thought you were supposed to morph into someone who cared? You did right by just brushing it off. He’s on some other stuff right now!

    • he’s BEEN on some other stuff. i think a lot of his little comments were TESTS. tests to see if i’m a jealous and/or insecure woman. since i’m not, i looked right through him.

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