Jayde – Back on the Prowl – Post #1

If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?

I’m not a fan of rap because I can never relate to the lyrics but one Halloween night changed my mind.

Adrian and I had been dating on and off for almost 4 years when he was taken away from me.  I use take because it is defined as “to seize with authority.” Adrian was arrested and offered 10 years.  When I think of someone getting 10 years I think of rape or murder but none of that happened.   Adrian didn’t do anything close to that he was involved in a fight, yes a simple fist fight.  Adrian ended up working out a deal and was sentenced to 43 months in a state prison.

Many nights since then I’ve rolled over expecting to see Adrian beside me.  I’ve waited and listened for him to come walking through that front door saying it was all a dream, but it’s not.  My mind is beginning to realize that he is gone and will be gone for another 2 years.  Our engagement made the situation even harder.  I was preparing to marry this man in prison but I wasn’t sure if it was what I really wanted.  I put all the negative thoughts away and performed my prison wifey duties.  I sent money, paid for calls and drove six hours every weekend to visit. I was giving him what he needed and it was leaving me drained, emotionally and sexually.  After the wedding plans fell through I decided to re-evaluate the situation and that left me where I am today, single.

I’m going into my fourth week as a single woman.  This new found freedom is not what I expected.  I discovered I wasn’t ready to go out and meet men so I came up with an idea, on-line dating!  Right now I just want someone to chat with, nothing more.  On-line dating seems to be the perfect choice.  Sit on my computer and chat with someone without having to see them face to face.  Maybe my life can turn out like one of those Match.com or eHarmony commercials.  It’s been weird chatting all day with these random men but a potential has come out of it.

For the first time in almost 5 years I have a D-A-T-E! I’m hoping when we meet he’s actually the person in his picture and not some old, fat man in his 60s…we’ll see….

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~ by engagedtothesystem on December 17, 2009.

4 Responses to “Jayde – Back on the Prowl – Post #1”

  1. Good luck! I hope oyu have better luck then me with the online dating. I’ve met a lot of guys but they were all duds. Oh well.

  2. I met a few ppl online too and some of them actually became great friends that I’m still close with today.

    Everything will work out for you, but first dates are so nerve-wracking!

  3. Yeah I’m hoping if things don’t work out with me dating anyone that at least I’ll make a friend out of it.
    Still trying to figure out what I’m wearing and if he’ll like my new haircut…

  4. Good luck on the date…good for you getting back out there 🙂

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