Monae~Perfect Timing

“What do the lonely do….at Christmas?”…that group “The Emotions” was blaring on my ipod and delicately pointing out my exact feelings at the moment. Sometimes I wish I had been born in the seventies. I can relate so well to the music of that era. It has been two weeks since my indifferent meeting with Khoury. I felt so bad about the way I had acted that I hadn’t even contacted him after the fact. He called me the next day and I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to face him. I could not for the life of me, begin to explain WHY I acted the way that I did with him. Maybe it was just ingrained in me to be nonchalant and standoffish…..gosh how I hated this mean girl attitude that I couldn’t seem to shake. I still thought of him though. Every. Single. Day. The image of him was forever burned in my memory and honey when I tell you how much I LOVED the thoughts of what could be….it was all I seemed to have left of him. I wasn’t sure of his intentions now…

I tried shopping for Christmas gifts to help me get out of this holiday cheer-less mood but I still felt as though it wasn’t enough. I contemplated picking up a gift for him as well. I hadn’t the slightest idea whether or not he’d get me a present but I was just thoughtful like that. I like to see others happy without expecting anything in return. I’d just about given up my search on a gift until I laid my eyes on the perfect watch from Marc Jacobs….it was just his style…from what I’d picked up on about him. The clerk stopped and awed at what a great choice I’d made for my ‘boyfriend’ and that he’d be very pleased. I remarked that the gift wasn’t for a boyfriend but rather a friend. She smirked and added that he must be some type of special if I was spending that much on a friend. She was about to get one more evil side-eye from me. She was sticking her nose in a little too far for my liking! I gave her the phoniest smile as I handed her my card for payment. I began thinking to myself, “Was I doing the most by buying him this watch?? Hell no!” I wasn’t about to second guess myself because of some nosy ass clerk. I grabbed my purchase and started to feel my hopes lifting just a bit.  I hope this would turn into a very MERRY Christmas after all.

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My mood on the way home was way more upbeat than earlier. I was singing (off key…so you know I had to be feelin’ it!) all of my favorite Christmas songs. It was as if my Scrooge like persona was melting away to reveal the warmth of my newfound Christmas spirit. I then wondered how I would get this gift to him. When would be the best time to explain myself? Or would he even want to communicate with me again?! I guess I was being too hard on myself in regards to the situation with Khoury. I knew there were some things that I needed to work on in regards to my attitude.  I am fully aware of that. There was no real reason to be down and out about it though. As I was stopped at a red light, my Blackberry event reminder sounded an alert. I didn’t remember having anyplace to go. I opened up the message and was shocked! My soror’s annual Christmas gathering….how the HELL did I forget that!? Oh geez it was just two days away…I had no dress, no date….where has my mind been all this time!?! And why the hell didn’t she call to remind me!? I yoked a quick U-turn and headed back to the mall. Damn! I felt like I was late to my own wedding! What to do?! What to do?! Soon the lightbulb clicked on in my head…..call him Mo…(communication) Invite him with you (admiration)…..have his gift ready (appreciation)….what could I say to that? Perfect timing….

What did I have to lose?! Not a thing…..

Cheers to my luck!

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~ by Monae on December 21, 2009.

One Response to “Monae~Perfect Timing”

  1. yes Chile, cheers!!! that first instinct is normally right, so buying the gift was the right decision to SHOW him how u feel since u can’t say it 🙂

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