Corey Post#6: It’s not like horseshoes…

Sidenote: Since my dating fails, I refused to listen to my copious cache of R&B music, mostly because I didn’t want to be reminded about how love has stung me so many times.

Niah had to come from some kind of dream world. Niah and I have the same kind of laid-back personality, quirky sense of humor and concept of how to live life- with as little stress as possible. The thing that blew my mind is how much of an amazingly girly tom boy she was. I swear she dressed like a queen, but she was down to play Halo on the Xbox as much as she wanted to watch a good mushy flick. She wanted as much affection as she wanted aggression on the basketball court, in which she would regularly bust my ass in Horse. This captivating paradox brought me so much happiness that I really could not figure out what to do with myself other than to acquiesce. I mean seriously, would you look a gift horse in the mouth?

We were like Omar and Sanaa...

The only problem Niah and ever had was with the nature of how we communicated with our significant other. She could not stand her ex-husband. She couldn’t even stand hearing his name, to the point where saying her first born son’s name made her sick depending on the day. It was crazy to me because her ex-hubby looked just like every woman’s dream. LL Cool J. Tall, swole, and all the other aesthetic bull that I’m clearly not interested in- And here she is, dating short, skinny, goofy me.

I could never say the same about Cassandra. Even though not romantically linked anymore, we still were friends from our extensive supportive track record while we were in school. Niah couldn’t comprehend how I could be cool with Cassandra, and honestly it was not that easy. Cassandra, knowing that I gave fairly good relationship advice always asked me for some so that she and her boy could do better, and vented to me when they had issues. I had no problem with giving her advice, but it was like taking a shot of 151 every single time. Man that shit burned on the way down. The funny thing is, so much changed as I started dating.

Niah and I went on a lunch date to Panera and as always, had a ball. Other than making googly eyes at each other and red-velvet-caking, we also talked about a few serious things. We finally decided that we were “officially dating.”  I looked at her with a silly looking grin and asked her,

“So you’re prepared to tell LL Cool J that you are dating someone else?”

“Corey, hell yeah. He never gave me that respect to let me know about his business, but you’re worth it. I’m ready, are you?”

“Yeah. Let’s…”

And as I tried to finish my statement, my celly rang. It was Cassandra. I put the phone on silent, but then she called my work cell. Worried it was about Elijah, I picked the phone up. “Hey Cass, what’s up?”

“Corey, I need some quick advice, can you talk?”

“No actually, I’m busy. I’m at lunch right now. Can I hit you in an hour?”

“I just need a quick minute, you always shoot a quick bit of advice my way when you at work lunches.”

“Umm, this isn’t a work lunch. When I call you back, we can talk about it, okay?”

“…um, right…”

“Um, Right” Was the sound of a heartbreaking, and the opening of a door to a new opportunity. Cassandra could hear in my voice that I was finally dating, meant that her security net was gone. She no longer possibly had me as the part of “Eat it too” to her cake, and knew our conversation would decrease.

I was bitten by the strongly like bug, and Niah and I were falling hard. She had her sons during the week, and so we would spend a couple of lunches together, and maybe the occasional breakfast date. It was just wonderful to talk to her about whatever. I could open up to her about whatever, even my dating failures and she was never judgmental. It was even fun to talk to her sons, because it allowed me to dream of how Elijah would be years from now.  And the weekends were just as fun. We would lock ourselves away from it all, making our world my apartment. We would watch movies all day and the evenings were amazing. I could never ask for more. Violent video games, cursing, chick flicks, drinks, candlelight dinners, and passionate, incendiary sex. It drove me wild to paint the house with our acrobatic escapades, and she would demand what she wanted in sweet, subdued Portuguese. I learned a lot about Portugal on those weekends.

She would wake up and speak to her mom on Sunday mornings before we went to church. A biracial army brat, she would hide her conversations about me in her mother’s native Portuguese. I could understand only those words that she may have stated during our sexcapades, but I knew it was good. She was always beaming. And after church, she would kiss me and go to pick up her kids. There couldn’t be any more to love than this, I would always say to myself. And I was motivated and excited to be able to relive the great moments the next weekend. I was falling in L… I was falling in Lo… that four letter word, y’all. Love. I swear it was coming.

I think I'm Falling...

Sidenote: I started to pick up some of my favorites again, Lucy Pearl, Earth Wind and Fire, Jill Scott, and Andre 3000, Prototype…

As she left, my phone rang. My dad was on the other end, and he rarely ever called me.

“Corey, have you looked into grad school?”

“Naw pop,  I figured it would be better for me to wait a year more or so.”

“A year can quickly turn into years, Corey. You need to look into going to school.”

“Who’s gonna take care of Elijah then?”

“If you get into a school in Florida, we will help you.”

My heart sank. I was torn between two opportunities. But as I could not look the gift horse in the mouth with Niah, I could not do the same thing here. I knew my best bet to make a better life for Elijah was to go to school. The toughest thing was telling Niah. I did, and her bright face was replaced with pure disappointment.

“Corey, I can’t leave Houston, and I won’t. My family is here, and my kids need to be close by to their father.”

“I understand. So can we try long distance? I wouldn’t be leaving here for almost a year- give me a try.”

“No. I’m sorry. I think this has officially broken my heart, Corey.”

That was the last I saw and heard from her for a long time. Just the concept of me leaving was completely damaging to anything we had. We didn’t even make it to a relationship.

Why the hell can’t love be like horseshoes or shuffleboard? Where you can get close enough and you win? But that would be too easy. Love is like shooting a booger out of Lincoln’s nose on the penny blindfolded, on one foot. Deadly accuracy. Well, I lost again. I don’t have any damn balance anyways.

Sidenote: Fuck R&B, I’m back on my Wu-Tang Shit. Protect your neck- and your heart.

~ by dtony1 on January 31, 2010.