Jayde – Pencil Thin – Post #6

Thin, cylindrical and pointed.  This is all I can think about after my weekend with Stanley.  We’ll get back to that later.  Let’s start off with the beginning of our weekend with my family.

Eight in the morning my mother comes banging on my door waking me up.  Stanley and I didn’t make the double date dinner we were supposed to have with my parents Friday night, so we were double dating for breakfast.  It was Saturday morning and all I could think about was sleep.

Stanley kept me up late the night before.  It was a night of pure pleasure.  Just like the song head, head and more head.  I went to bed satisfied and anticipating moving on to a home run, if only I knew what he was packing below.

My grandmother’s party went on without a hitch.  Everyone loved Stanley and kept referring to him as my boyfriend.  I made a public announcement letting everyone know that Stanley and I were friends.

After the party the cousins decided to hit up a club, this began my annoyance with Stanley.  Stanley had been drinking all night with the men and had the urge to pee every five minutes.  When we arrived at club number one we were turned away because he had on tennis shoes, same thing at club number two.

At each stop Stanley had to run around the corner and release himself.  We decided to try the clubs downtown and found out they didn’t have rules on shoes.  While we’re driving around looking for parking spaces Stanley jumps out the car at the red light.  He said he has to pee and he’ll find us.  Of course Stanley’s phone ended up being dead and we had to search the streets for him.  An hour later we find Stanley and we’re headed in the club when he realizes he doesn’t have his wallet.  Stanley and I walk back to the car and retrieve it and once again he had to pee.

Once in the club I got my Blue Long Island Iced Tea and ignored Stanley.  I danced and flirted with other guys because if I spoke to him I would go off.  I have a low level of patience when it comes to men.  Back at the house I rushed to bed and made it a point to ignore Stanley.  He kept trying to touch and cuddle with me and I let him know, not tonight!  I wish I would’ve known not EVER!

Sunday night Stanley and I drove back to my apartment and had some wings and wine.  I had homework to complete and Stanley was supposed to be resting up for his five hour drive in the morning.

Stanley caught me again with that 2 Live Crew, head, head and more head.  After 2 hours of that I was ready to roll over and call it a night, I regret not just ending it with that.  The lights were out so I couldn’t see what Stanley was working with and when he put it in I couldn’t feel it either.

There I sat wondering why he was moving so much and breathing so hard.  All the time Stanley was in and I was laying there with a face of anticipation.  Stanley had a case of the pencil.  It’s a life threatening disease and I am allergic to pencils.  It’s not the big ones the kindergarteners use it’s that slim #2 used for scantrons.  A minute later Stanley was done and I was saved by the minute man syndrome.

How could I deal? *sigh* A case of the pencil and the minute man syndrome…someone kill me now! So much for McSteamy!

I’ve been ignoring Stanley’s phone calls and texts because I don’t want to hurt his pride.  I know I might ask about his pencil and if he has thought about surgery or maybe a pump?

I’m supposed to be in Atlanta with him next Friday for Valentine’s Day.  He bought the plane ticket, made the hotel reservations and mailed me my outfits for the weekend.

I’m hoping somewhere in the hotel he has a pump, an extender or a spare dick lying around. *crosses fingers* So much for Stanley being “NORMAL.”


~ by engagedtothesystem on February 4, 2010.

9 Responses to “Jayde – Pencil Thin – Post #6”

  1. Oh my my my!!!! I am allergic to the pencil as well girl. That is the worst feeling ever. I see if he was short but thick but thin… *rolls eyes* Pls don’t be pencil thin. That is why his head game was on point he has to make up for the size of his penis. LOL I am so sorry that it had to end with a pencil. LOL

  2. I am trying to contain my laughter but OH EM GEE!!!! I understand how you feel girl because I, too, have experienced a pencil. It wasn’t a regular sized pencil either….it was one of those that had been made into nub status SMDH. I agree with Sheree on the head game. He had to have that PERFECTED because he’s not working with much else down under! What could he possibly have in store for V-day?!

  3. my suggestion is bring a dildo for valentines and give him a show, or not. i would pull it out and be like *rocko voice* NOW WATCH ME DO ME!

  4. LOL I’ve had that problem too. The worse part is that the condom was baggy. I know WTF right? I think we should start a support group, “Women against Nubs”. We can have a Fundraiser once a year where we raise money for penial implant surgery for the “less fortunate” LOL.

  5. OH MY, MY, MY, NY!!! LMAO!! I too have experienced the minute man. I usually check packages so I don’t run into the writing utensils. This was not a pleasant experience. Sorry that you had to experience the writings on the wall. You got yourself a real tagger. Tell him not to commit anymore crimes during Vday!! Tell him you’re celibate and all you can get is head!!

  6. I do suggest.. Just bring the dildo.. At least he is good for one thing!! But when he starts to wonder why you always prefer the dildo instead of him…. Then you would have to break it to him 🙂 This is a hurtful situation, sorry you anticipated to be SO LET DOWN!!

  7. Ohhhhh noooo! That’s just horrible. I’ve experienced the nub syndrome before…not good. He seems like a good dude just lacking in the utensil dept lol. Yeah I say get the dildo lmao!

  8. I don’t even wanna bring out the dildo b/c it might make him feel worse since he doesn’t compare! I’m so worried about keeping that pencil away from me for V-day but we will see…maybe he was having a bad day *crosses fingers*

    i so feel your pain soror…
    been there done that… *wont mention what frat he is in lol*
    but yeah head game was off the chain… and i got a stubby pencil
    you better pack your bullet when you go to visit lol

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