“Throwback”- Veronica #20

Things had never been this clear to me. I was overjoyed to be moving on to the next phase of my life, excited that God was answering my prayers. I quit my job and enrolled in the Fashion Institute of Technology to study Fashion Merchandising and Marketing. I now enjoyed waking up every morning and walking 10 blocks to class everyday. Life was great. RJ and I were working on being happy TOGETHER, taking baby steps and getting reacquainted with each other. He called me one afternoon to tell me that he was considering looking for work in NYC to be close to me, and I could hardly contain my excitement. I was so happy at the thought of having the love of my life with me everyday. I spoke to my uncle about helping RJ find work as a teacher since he’s a principal for a middle school not too far from my house. At one point I had to stop myself – I felt Veronica getting carried away, when Veronica should be focusing on herself. I knew I had to slow down my excitement, because it wasn’t even definite that he was coming.

One rainy Friday I received a phone call from a 407 number as I walked home from school. I couldn’t think of anyone in Orlando except Marques, my first love. I hadn’t spoken to him in about 8 months, but I was always happy to hear his voice. I still regarded him as somewhat of a friend because you never truly get over your first love, or so I thought.

Marques called to have small talk, but I know he called when things weren’t going right with his girlfriend. He believed that she trapped him by getting pregnant, so he was unsure of what to do. I tried to give him advice on being upfront with her on how he felt, but he said she was not as easy to talk to as I am. Now this is true, because I’m a patient and understanding person, but I’m also self-sufficient. This chick that he’s been seeing was basically looking for a meal ticket, and unfortunately Marques fell for that shit. She’d been literally begging him to propose, and he told her he wasn’t ready for marriage…when in reality he just didn’t want to marry HER. Although he was excited for the birth of his first born, he still was not excited about her being the mother of the child. I told Marques that he should’ve thought about that before he stuck the head in, but that’s neither here nor there.

I guess Marques wanted sympathy, or for me to tell him I still loved him…and I did. In a “you will always be my first love” kinda way. I even stopped wearing the necklace he gave me, I’d moved on. I knew Marques was comparing his girlfriend to me, wondering why she couldn’t be more like me. I told him that he needed to decide if he wanted to bring a baby into an unhealthy relationship, but he kept saying that he felt stuck. I be damned if a man feels STUCK with me for the wrong reasons. I was happy that this situation did not affect ME in any shape or form.

One morning as I prepared to head to Parsons, I saw Marques’ number flash across my screen. Why was he up at 730AM? I answered, and I heard a woman’s voice. “Hello, don’t think I don’t know about you trying to steal my man. Marques is a good man, he don’t want you, he has a family. We are very happy and we’re engaged so I’d appreciate it if you left us the hell alone.”

Um……Now did she forget how crazy I am from the first time we spoke? She called me when she found pictures of me in Marques’ apartment three years ago, then searched through his Myspace page and found my name so she could call me. I have no problems blacking out on people. I’ve been virtually drama free for the last 3 months and I refuse to let some basic stupid bitch ruin that shyt. Once again I threatened her life and her family’s life, promising to get on a plane to Orlando and do her a favor. I let her know that she needed to be worried about herself and her child instead of worrying about a woman who lived 800 miles away. I wanted to say “bitch u ain’t gettin no ring” but instead I hung up on her even though she continued to call back and start texting me. As I was about to shut my phone off, I received an email from Marques, stating that she took his phone before he left for work and to not answer my phone. He was a little too late for that!

Marques apologized for bringing me into the madness that was his life, and said that he wished that things between us never ended so badly. He was having second thoughts about everything, dreaming of me every night and missing me desperately. It sounded nice, but he could’ve saved that. There would never ever be a Marques and Veronica Part 2, and he knew it. He spoke about playing an old Usher song “Throwback” whenever he found himself thinking about me because I told him he’d want me back after he goes through enough bullshit women. As always, Veronica was right.

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~ by A. Nicole on February 23, 2010.

One Response to ““Throwback”- Veronica #20”

  1. these hoes just don’t get it and never will. #basic

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