Monae~Accepting Change

You know how you used to plan your whole life out when you were a child? You had to be married by 25 and living in the house that you and your husband bought. Two kids by 30 because you know, you’ve got to travel the world and see the sights before parenting comes into play. You envision momentos and plenty of those boring photo albums of your romantic  and adventurous vacations to show the children once they were old enough to understand. You wished upon stars to be sent the man of your dreams to experience all of this with so when the time came you could proudly share your story with your family of how you and Daddy fell in love. Well guess what? God LAUGHS! Clearly He always has a different path for your life and it almost always ends up being something you would have never expected. Nonetheless he never puts on you more than you can bear……so in regards to this brand new shake up in my life, I suppose I was already given all the tools needed to endure this before it came to full fruition.

Now of course I could’ve been more careful or just abstained altogether (yeah right sure) until I was MARRIED like I’d planned. Once again, my ‘plan’ was foiled. I could’ve been giving him the business all up in the vehicle AFTER saying, “I Do” and making a li’l Jr….no scratch that. I hate Jr’s. I’d rather my child have his own identity….or making a baby diva. There’s a reason for everything though. The man upstairs (for whatever reason but I won’t dare question it) felt like I was ready to be this child’s mother. I still haven’t really grasped it. It all feels so surreal. Random bouts of crying….wondering why me, why now…….questioning myself as far as wanting to go through with this. How else do you deal with news THIS heavy?! This is totally out of order for me. Nonetheless my circle has been more than supportive and so excited to be goddies…..*sigh* I have so much to be thankful for.

Especially this man……he is all that a girl could ever dream of and MORE and he’s MINE. If there was any doubt in my mind about this baby, they’ve all been erased due to his overwhelming display of love for his woman…..who is now carrying his child….*blush* Maurice was way more ecstatic than I’d expected him to be. I guess after being exposed to everyone else’s less than stellar experiences with telling a guy that you’re pregnant and especially claiming him as the father, you just kinda brace yourself because you honestly don’t know how he’ll react. No matter how much love he had for you last month….the relationship dynamics are forever changed once a baby is added. I had to de-program my initial mindset. Now this dude is speaking major changes….talks of me moving in with him……what?? Me? Leave Miami to go live in a colder climate? Are you serious? My family is here and many of my friends. I guess you never stop to think of the “what if’s” until you are forced to. I’ve got a great job here and damn, did I really have to leave MY place!? I know I could always sell but….I’ve got so many things to think about and so many decisions to make.

But I’ll be damned if I’m going to make them NOW…..the boo is waiting. His ass might as well move HERE as much as he’s been up under me since I told him. Ah well! No need to “practice” anymore when we’re already playing to win 🙂

Game on!

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~ by Monae on March 5, 2010.

One Response to “Monae~Accepting Change”

  1. I think it’s great that Maurice took it so well! At least that’s one less thing to worry about…

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