Corey: Post#8: I Want That Old Thing Back…

It took months of mental conditioning to admit that she let me go, and months more to close off my feelings for Cassandra. And then she pulls a stunt like that? Why would you even want me now? It just didn’t make any sense to me. Why now? And if you “love me” so much, why admit it as your man was coming into your house? It added up like Bill and Hilary Clinton to me: The concept had aspects of logic ( staying together for Elijah), but even through Lewinsky-gate, they made it through. We failed under less hectic circumstances. I definitely wasn’t getting any side play. Hell, at this point, I’ve been death valley. And she’s been with her lovie-huggie-boo-boo for a bit. On the bright side, the homies came over from PV, so we had time to go act a fool. Next stop: Schlitterbahn.

For those not familiar with Texas, Schlitterbahn is possibly the best waterpark in the United States, and it is in New Braunfels. It’s almost like Never Never Land , because beautiful, grown ass women  go on trips there together just like they did in high school. So to alleviate the Cassandra Blues, I was en route to finding a nice, sweet, beach-bodied mermaid to just flirt with. I believe at this point, I’ve had my lion’s share of heartache. In excitement, I commenced with the pre-waterpark push ups.

Im happy the usual suspects rolled through with me. Cliff and Dante came as always, but they happened to bring Diggy and Burger too. We were five deep. It felt kinda like Entourage, because I felt like we were unstoppable. Front if you want to, but when you have been knocked down, its good to have friends that pick you up and drag you out the house when you are beat up. For them, this was number two.

I felt like a Superman with my boys around.

If the adage there’s more fish in the sea was true, it held for sure this weekend. Schlitterbahn was Sea World. Wow. So much assorted beauty scattered out there. Or did I mean booty? Nevertheless, It was thick. And I was hyped. The crew worked very similarly to how we always do: Dante as the bad guy, Burger as the cool guy, Diggy was smooth, and Cliff and I were always the nice guys. It was the weirdest thing how we always worked like this when we got together, but it was how we were. It would be different if it was a façade. But as we did that, all of the women started flocking.

There she was. beautiful cocoa skin. Tall with decadently long legs. Her bikini, zebra print, would have been tacky, but it was delightfully appropriate with her long  dreads that flowed from her head. They made a value proposition to my eyes, leading past her face, down to her neckline. It took a whole lot out of me to be a gentleman. She had it all going on. I knew I had to talk to her. I walked like a man on a mission. I smiled at her and started to make my advance. I waved to the guys that I’d be back, and started toward her. She gave me the “shy girl.” She smiled, buried her head in her chest. She crossed her legs and ran one of her hands through her hair. As I began to shuffle through what I wanted to say, I saw someone that looked like Cassandra. Why the hell was she here?  I sadly had to stop my pursuit of the brown beauty to figure out what was going on. As I passed my initial target, I knew I wasn’t going to have another chance with her because I had determination written all over my face.

I passed this up. Dammit.

I saw her by herself, buying a strawberry paleta from an ice cream vendor. She looked way too good to be true. The crimson Ecko red bathing suit hugged her hips perfectly. It was completely unfair. And she kept licking that damned popsicle ever so provocatively, as if she knew I was watching. I stepped up, and in normal fashion, I had to be a smartass.

“That’s kinda effed up how you aren’t about to share, Cass.”

She turned around and dropped the paleta on the ground. Red slush was all over her perfectly manicured feet. She had a thing for making sure her fingers and toes were thorough. She looked at me with her award winning Crest smile, knowing I couldn’t resist.

“Corey, It’s so good to see you. I wanted to finish that conversation we started a couple of days ago before he came over.”

All the things that I wanted to say to her:

  1. Why the hell are you here in New Braunfels?!
  2. Where’s our son?!
  3. Why are you referring to your dude as “he”?!
  4. Why’d you have the gall to even say you love me?!
  5. Eff Yooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

But I said none of the above. “I’ve missed you. HeHe.”

Wait…I chuckled… Damn I’m ashamed.

“Corey, have you heard of the 80-20 rule?”

“Naw. Why the hell are you talking about percentages?”

“No stupid,” She grinned. “From the movie Why did I get Married?”

“In lieu of our bit of shit, Cass, I really don’t trifle with love stories.”

“You should, Corey. Because you’re my 80.”


As I made a layman’s attempt to figure out what the hell being her “80” was, Sergio rolled up. He was holding Elijah and his kid, Lazaro’s hands. Well, at least that explains question 1 and 2. But what about 3? 4? And I’m tempted to scream out 5, but only after my kid covers his ears and turns around.

This was the first time I actually saw Sergio in the flesh. It was slightly comforting, knowing that he was a pudgy dude. I think I could thoroughly whoop his ass. Naw, Cass said he practiced MMA. Ok, so I could give him a run for his money. At least I look better than this fool.

“So you’re Corey? I’ve heard a lot about you.” He let go of Elijah, who wobbled over and wrapped himself around my leg. Then he raised his hand for a shake. I obliged, and tried to break his fingers.

“Sergio, I hope you are taking care of my two best friends.” I looked at both Cass and Elijah, and realized I had foot in mouth disease twice today. Damn that was stupid.

Before  Sergio could say yes, Cass grabbed up Elijah and motioned for Sergio to go. He nodded and they walked off. She looked at me in disappointment and said “See you later” in the most condescending tone.  What did she expect me to say? Howdy Partner? I hope she’s as good in the sack as she was to me? I was jealous. But I also sat there and thought about what she said. Why is she trying to get at me but she defended him? I’ll never understand.

I watched Why did I get Married That evening, and was more confused than I ever was. “Screw Movies,” I said to the TV like it would be offended, and turned on the XBOX. This is the bullshit.

I really still missed her.

~ by dtony1 on April 1, 2010.

5 Responses to “Corey: Post#8: I Want That Old Thing Back…”

  1. Corey, its hard to let go, but you should. there is a whole lot more you’re missing out on…like lady in the zebra bikini.

  2. Awww hun. I second that emotion. I learned my lesson the hard way. Don’t waste your time with someone who obviously doesn’t value your time.

  3. It’s always so hard to let go of the ones who emotionally mistreat us the most. Oh the irony…..

  4. Oh Corey….I know what you are going through. Ahem…

  5. I hope you realize that you are worth more. Don’t let her string you along. Tell yourself that you are getting off the emotional rollercoaster at the next stop. You have to be happy again!

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