Corey: Post #10 :Lights Out

My yearning for Cassandra was muddled after a little bit of Halo and a few beers. Blowing alien heads off and having a couple of Red Stripes always seemed better than wallowing in self-nasty-lonely-pity.  Much worse, I couldn’t vent to Angie much, because she was getting her cake on.  Seeeeriously.  She had even stopped being a lush.  Really.  So I couldn’t bounce the situation I know call “Whimsical Waterpark Fckery” off of her.  But I could always call Penny.

Penny and I have always been really good friends.  I met Penny from a friend of a friend that used to kick it at the frat house during our undergrad years at Prairie View.  I swear sometimes Penny may be the only black Valkyrie I’ve ever met.  She was tall enough to damage Shaq’s self esteem.  Her hair could ride the big boy rides at Six Flags.  You could add that to a million-dollar smile and a voice that seems like it was sampled from a Minnie Ripperton song and you have a winner.  But because she was dating a quasi homie, I stepped back.

Yes, she was Amazon Candace Parker FOIIIINE.

Shortly after Penny and I became extremely cool, she broke up with her boyfriend.  I was with Cassandra but I knew she needed someone to talk to.  I tried to do my best to listen and not give any unsolicited feedback, and she always appreciated it. She told me if the time came to reciprocate she would- not knowing how soon that would be.

We ended up being Dr. Phil and Phyllis through our dating failures for the last few years.  It was always fun to talk to Penny because then we could reminisce about college, and just the time we had known each other.  So of course, it was a no-brainer to pick up the phone and call her.

Before I could say “hi,” she had interjected a routine statement for the beginning of our convos:

“Corey, what’s wrong with me?”

I clearly didn’t know that there had been another snafu recently.

“P, you know I’m always here to listen.”

And so the conversation started.  She began to tell me that the man who she was going to marry and move from her home in New Orleans to Los Angeles.  They’d been split for a month and he was officially dating a 19 year old girl.  It was nasty because we are both knocking on 30’s door, and “Chester Molester” was on his way to 40.  I told her that “Chester” was searching for the fountain of youth in a vagina, but like the conquistadores searching through the Florida Everglades, it wasn’t going to happen.  She died laughing, then I, of course had to say something tongue in cheek.

“Penny, I swear sometimes that we were supposed to date each other all along.”

The next answer was what tripped me out.

“Actually, I was going to say the same thing, but I’m serious.”

This must be how boxers feel when they are hit with a hard right cross at the end of a round.  My knees buckled, and I grappled on to my opponent, the haymaker of a statement, much like Money Mayweather did in the early rounds of his fight with Shane Mosley.

“Penny…you’re messing with me, right?”

“No, not really.  I was actually asking my mom about it a few days ago.  I was curious to know if it was wrong for us to date, especially since I dated one of your friends.”

“Well, dude and I played pickup ball together, but friend is a strong word.  I always took that into consideration, but I took our friendship into deeper consideration as a reason not to date.  But if you want to know if I’m attracted to you, then yes.”

Ding Ding!  I made it through the round.  That question really made me have to see the cut doctor.

The conversation became much heavier than it was.  It transitioned from the “significant others hate convention” into a contingency plan to actually maintain our friendship if we gave this dating thing a test drive.  Until she wanted to throw blows again.

“Corey, when’s your next weekend off?”

POW.

I was looking for someone to throw in the towel from my corner because I couldn’t even hold my hands up to protect up.  I wanted to scream for Adrian in my corner, but when I turned around, Eros was there.

Shit.

So I obliged a weekend a month away.  She was giddy with excitement and you could almost hear her dancing in her voice.

Fast forward two days before she was supposed to be here.

“Corey, I have some family things that came up. I really can’t come and I’m sorry.”

Even though it was okay, it felt like the knockout blow.  Not because I don’t think that she had fronted on me, but yet again, I set my hopes up higher than I should have.  I really need to work on expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

I really decided to lay it down after she left something about “her love” on her facebook. Facebook fcuked me twice. Dammit I have to be a fool. I said to myself, “give up on love.” I

With my head on the canvas, I looked at the lights on the ceiling, and heard the ref count.  There was no need to get up; I’d just get hit again.

The Damage was Clearly Done.

…7, 8, 9, 10…Ding!  The winner…and still champ…loneliness.

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~ by dtony1 on July 6, 2010.

2 Responses to “Corey: Post #10 :Lights Out”

  1. Wow, I know the feeling. smh.

  2. Wow…I presume the post that will come in the future will talk about how you spoke to her…or not.

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