Monae~Reality Check

The sheets were tangled. My heart was racing. I laid frozen in the middle of the bed because I was afraid to move. I took a couple of deep breaths and waited for my heart to resume its normal rate. That dream seemed too real…..

I grabbed my Blackberry from the nightstand to check the time and it was 4:00 a.m. I definitely fell asleep with too much on my mind. I thought back to dinner with James and what he said to me at the end of the night. I told him he was out of line for asking me to come stay with him. I was disappointed that he thought I was that type of woman… matter how attracted I was to him or how much he impressed me he was still a married man! There’s a limit to how far I will go. He apologized and insisted I let him plan an outing for us for the weekend. I was kind of hesitant and told him I’d give him an answer on Friday.

I sat up in bed and felt a headache coming on. I was still kind of shook up. Dreams are said to be repressed desires but there’s no way in hell that I wanted to get caught up in drama like that! I wonder if my dreams could be trying to tell me something….could that have been his wife “knocking”? Why didn’t she have a key to come in? Maybe her not being able to get in served as a warning to me that she was on to us. I’m always overanalyzing! I made a note to myself to google that dream later. This mess had me scared in my own damn house! I wish I had someone to call and discuss this with. Khoury came to mind and I smiled briefly. I missed him……especially during times like this. I checked the time again and it was now 4:30 a.m. I was tired but unable to sleep. I needed some time to myself and decided that I would be taking a personal day from work. I didn’t feel like being bombarded with questions from Lisa anyway….at least not while my brain was still in this haze.

I started reflecting over the events that had taken place in my life over the past couple of months. It seems as though you can’t date anyone these days without running a background check on them first! I probably would have saved myself some heartache and time wasted. I need to start looking into that. However long it takes to get the results back is how long they’d need to wait before we dated. Don’t call ME. I’ll call YOU. Maurice’s ex-fiancee was stalking him. Khoury went and sowed his oats and now a married man is trying to pursue me. This isn’t the kind of line-up I imagined for myself.

My Blackberry buzzed and I took it to be spam email that usually comes in around that time of morning. I scanned the screen and it’s a bbm……from James……at 4:45 a.m. I looked around paranoid as though he knew I was up and was somewhere near me. My heartrate sped up AGAIN. I opened the convo and the message reads:

“Got you on my mind heavy…..turning me down only makes me want to try harder.”



~ by Monae on August 13, 2010.

2 Responses to “Monae~Reality Check”

  1. Whew! *wipes sweat* Glad that was just a dream! I say stay away from him. Married men are too much! Too much drama, hiding, etc. Plus if he’ll step on his wife, he’ll step out on you.

  2. I second that emotion. Girl, don’t. That dream was a warning…

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