Monae~Return To Sender

I stood frozen. My heart was beating so fast…I felt as though it would beat through my chest at any minute. The note fluttered to the ground from out of my hands. The scent from it, so familiar yet so sinister still floated past my nose. My mouth wanted to speak but my brain wouldn’t cooperate.

“Mo? Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

His voice…once I heard him speak again, the emotions were triggered. I pushed him as hard as I could and he fell backwards into the sidewalk. The agony in his voice as he yelled out in pain satisfied me. I ran forward and kicked him. He was balled up and I took advantage of his weakness. Oh how I wished for my stilletoes to jab him so the pain would be piercing. My foot was aimed at his throat when I tripped. I fell on top of him and all of a sudden he seemed to regain his strength. He quickly wrapped his arms around me in a tight hold so that I was unable to move. I was scared as hell and the tears flowed uncontrollably. I wanted out!

“Mo! Stop this shit! Why are you trying to hurt me?!”

“Let me go Maurice! Why did you come back?! WHY!?”

“Babe can we talk? Please? Without you trying to break my damn back?”

 “Babe??” I bit into his shoulder and jabbed him in between his legs with my knees. That loosened his grip enough for me to break free. I quickly ran back inside my house to look for anything to blow his shit off. How dare he come back thinking everything was all damn good?! How dare he think it would be this easy?! I ran through my house slamming drawers open and shut. I failed to realize that I didn’t lock the door behind me.

Soon the smell of his cologne was everywhere. I turned around to see him standing in my doorway. I threw the closest thing I could grab at him and missed. He closed the door and continued to stand there. I guess his ass knew better than to try and come closer.

“Mo…please. Stop this.”

“Get the hell out of my house Maurice!”

“Damn just hear me out! PLEASE!”

“You’ve said all you had to say to me. What else could there be for me to hear?! What? You’re married now with another one on the way? What else Maurice? What do you want?!”

“Mo, I sent you flowers…everyday. Why didn’t you respond to me?” 

I opened my mouth to argue back but stopped. Wait…what? Flowers? The flowers that came to my job everyday for the past week were from Maurice? No, no those flowers couldn’t be from him. The notes were never signed though…just thoughts written. Damn…where was James? I felt like I was in my own twilight zone. I grabbed my phone and went to dial his number until I remembered that I had deleted it from my contacts. I dropped my head in defeat…how had I lost my peace of mind so quickly?

“Mo..?”

“Maurice just leave. I can’t talk to you right now.”

“But…”

“BUT NOTHING…GET OUT! Why are you even here?! Go back to your damn fiancee and baby and leave me alone! That’s the only thing you ever did right!”

“There’s no more baby Mo! There’s no more fiancee! She left me and took my child. I don’t know where to start looking…I just needed you…”

“I said GET OUT!”

I couldn’t lie…I saw the hurt in his eyes. I saw the pain flash across his face but I didn’t care. For once he knew the pain he put me through and I wasn’t about to cater to his ass. He left quietly and I hurried to lock the door behind him before he tried anything funny.

Yes…I still missed him and it hurt like hell.

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~ by Monae on October 15, 2010.

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