Chasing Clouds~Monae

Great sex clouds your judgment and my head was clearly still among those clouds. I had to force my eyes not to gaze too long at his face in fear of acting on the emotions that had seemingly revived themselves overnight. Long stares seemed to become pretty prevalent over dinner. We held intense conversations using the windows of our souls. This shit was so wrong. I was trying to avoid the massive elephant in the room…but the moment…the NOW was feeding my fire. After he had closed the check, we strolled out the restaurant…him slipping his fingers through mine.

My heart beat a li’l faster but I was stopped in my tracks.

Khoury…when are we going to stop pretending?

There it was. The word vomit. He stopped to look at me…and there was an unfamiliar expression on his face.  Unshared emotions in his eyes. I loved the feeling of closeness between us though. I was being taken back to a time when it was strictly just about he and I. The time before the unexplained ending to our courtship…and then the wedding. The times when I’d fall asleep on our late night chats…which he HATED. The times we’d make silly wagers…I missed  US. I was chasing damn clouds right now and I couldn’t help feeling as though he was providing the smoke system.

It’s not as simple to explain Mo…but you KNOW I still love you tho…why are you doubtin’ my feelings for you?

My emotions were flushing…my face ran hot. I really don’t know what to believe right now. He stood behind me trying to trail kisses on my neck but I shrugged him off  with such an edge that he quickly backed away. I was way in over my head again and needed a reality check. My iPhone chimed a text alert and I snatched it up with so much intensity that I almost dropped that fat reality check…

Confusion was spread all over my face. Apparently I’d picked up the wrong iPhone…and Khoury had dug a deeper hole for himself.


~ by Monae on October 5, 2012.

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