Emotional Faux Pas~Monae

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We spend so much time loving the wrong person…that when the right one finally shows up, we’re all tapped out. Our emotional tanks are on ‘E’…but then…

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The past year had been a whirlwind of disappointments, broken relationships and growth. I’ve never experienced so many failures in such a short time. My life, as I knew it, was no longer in my control. The reins I thought I had were snatched away and I was subjected to relinquishing. Can you understand how incredibly difficult that is for the planner in me? In the midst of it all I realized that I’d lost myself. I no longer knew the person who existed as Monae. This entity was spiteful and ruthless and full of deceit. She operated under the guise of the victim…allowing self pity parties and reckless situationships to manifest. The downward spiral was moving at a destructive speed…but then…

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But love…but LOVE. Last year I was stuck in neutral…on Khoury. I’d created a non existent life for us in my head because of unresolved feelings a la Kenya Moore. I was destroying a marriage and a family because of my own selfish desires. I was strung the hell out on that drug…that I THOUGHT was love. After the wedding, I basically ditched James to faux boo up with someone who was only stringing me along because of what WAS and not because of what could possibly BE. The truth of the matter hit me hard like a debit card being declined on your worst day! He never explained his detour back to me. His presence in my life eventually faded and I had to just deal. 

And then…LOVE walked in…not that fake love that you plaster on so others will fawn for it. Not that phony love that only recognizes you at our best and departs at your lowest. No…this love, was one that I’d never expected…but what was totally needed.

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~ by Monae on March 14, 2014.

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